Spotting Flying Monkeys: Unmasking Narcissistic Enablers

Introduction:

Hey there, courageous souls! Today, let’s embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we delve into the concept of “flying monkeys” in the realm of narcissistic abuse. These are the unsuspecting individuals who unknowingly aid and abet a narcissist in their manipulative games. Through my own personal experience, I aim to shed light on the subtle signs and share strategies to recognize these enablers.

My Story:

Not too long ago, I found myself drowning in the tumultuous sea of emotions while opening up about the narcissistic abuse inflicted by my father, whom I worked alongside. Tears streamed down my face as I vulnerably shared my painful experiences with a trusted family member. To my dismay, the response I received was far from the support I had hoped for. “Well, there’s two sides to every story, and he’s told me that you really shut down when he tries to talk to you,” my family member retorted. My pain and shock kept me silent at the time. Learning about the “Flying Monkeys” behavior opened avenues of healing for me.

Recognizing Flying Monkeys:

Invalidation and Excusing Behavior:

Flying monkeys often downplay or dismiss the victim’s feelings and experiences.
They may excuse the narcissist’s behavior, attributing it to misunderstandings or claiming that the victim is oversensitive.
Defending the Narcissist:

These enablers go to great lengths to defend the narcissist, even in the face of compelling evidence of their toxic behavior.
They may offer justifications for the narcissist’s actions or attempt to shift blame onto the victim.
Lack of Empathy:

Flying monkeys show a notable absence of empathy towards the victim’s pain and suffering.
They may prioritize maintaining a façade of family unity over addressing the victim’s genuine concerns.
Gossip and Sabotage:

Enablers may engage in gossip or backstabbing to further isolate the victim.
They might actively participate in undermining the victim’s reputation to protect the narcissist.
Empowering Yourself:

Trust Your Instincts:

Listen to your gut feelings when someone’s response doesn’t align with the support you need.
Recognize that you have a right to your feelings and experiences.
Establish Boundaries:

Clearly communicate your boundaries to those around you.
Surround yourself with individuals who respect and validate your emotions.
Educate and Advocate:

Share resources on narcissistic abuse with friends and family to help them understand the dynamics.
Advocate for your own well-being, emphasizing the importance of a safe and supportive environment.
Conclusion:

Dear warriors, recognizing flying monkeys is a crucial step in breaking free from the shackles of narcissistic abuse. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. By identifying these enablers, you empower yourself to build a support system that truly understands and validates your experiences. Your healing journey begins with acknowledging your worth and reclaiming the narrative of your own story. You’ve got this!